How I End Up

I have such a hard time saying no.
And that's how I end up
As a safety deposit box
For other people's secrets,
But left out because I didn't
Spend adolescence spent and wasted,
Though I still hate myself for the
Places I have been.

I have such a hard time saying no.
And that's how I end up
In hole-in-the-wall coffee shops
Listening to the two of you
Talking about your escapades
To and with each other
Because you've forgotten
That I'm here.

I have such a hard time saying no.
And that's how I end up
Too drunk on adrenaline
To stop or stop and think,
And getting shoved farther out
And being dragged farther down
In the surf
Than I wanted to go.


I have such a hard time saying no.
And that's how I end.