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Literature Text
You meet my pleasantries
With such passivity,
Intercepting every smile,
With a blank stare.
My words are bouncing back to me,
As if you were a wall
It feels like you aren't giving me
Anything at all.
I ask about your day.
Silence.
I tell you about mine.
Silence.
Are you even alive?
Silence.
Please, don't push me away.
With such passivity,
Intercepting every smile,
With a blank stare.
My words are bouncing back to me,
As if you were a wall
It feels like you aren't giving me
Anything at all.
I ask about your day.
Silence.
I tell you about mine.
Silence.
Are you even alive?
Silence.
Please, don't push me away.
This was written with the prompt "Silence" for the August prompt at 
. I'll probably write a new one, because this one just doesn't feel up to par.
. I'll probably write a new one, because this one just doesn't feel up to par. © 2012 - 2024 Vegetabelle
Comments49
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Overall
Vision
Originality Technique ImpactI enjoyed this work. When there is single worded title it has to hold something unique or different or perhaps another aspect to the word.
Now this work is precise and to the point. No moving left off track, no explaining simple concepts with lengthy explinations. Yet while being so precise this work still holds its beauty in putting forwards its meaning and in a way that the reader finds beautiful. The rhyme also feels natural.
This work is a quick read that makes you smile over its quality and the rhyme and play of the few words that are there. There might be the aspect of originality in the title but the rest of the work read fine.