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Literature Text
I am tangled up in you,
Like sea-weed around my ankles.
It is hard to find freedom
Without someone getting hurt.
I am tangled up in you
Like knots in a ball of yarn.
It becomes a useless mess
That only the feline sort enjoys.
I am tangled up in you
Like I thought I'd never be.
It never occured to me
That someone could trap me again.
Like sea-weed around my ankles.
It is hard to find freedom
Without someone getting hurt.
I am tangled up in you
Like knots in a ball of yarn.
It becomes a useless mess
That only the feline sort enjoys.
I am tangled up in you
Like I thought I'd never be.
It never occured to me
That someone could trap me again.
This is my 17th Poem for NaPoWri Mo2012! I actually started working on a diferent poem, but it decided it wanted to be a lot longer, so I woulnd't be submitting it today.
© 2012 - 2024 Vegetabelle
Comments15
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Overall Vision Originality Technique
ImpactI would like to say that you have done me a good turn by writing such a clever metaphor in this poem. It was a pleasure to see that. The idea of comparing a relationship to seaweed or other sticky substance is rare.
Regarding technique, which includes similes and metaphors etc, I am pleased that you know them well. These days I am thrilled to see people writing genuinely free or blank verse so ably. The reference to kittens in the second stanza is also very clever.Finally, the last stanza is entertaining as you declared that you had not expected to be trapped in one again. The attitude in this project has proved very worth reading.